Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Stop Looking for A Husband and Find the Love of your Life reviewed by fran lewis
Stop Looking for a Husband and Find the Love of Your Life
Author: Marina Sbrochi
Reviewed by Fran Lewis
Did you ever walk into a room and connect with someone? Chemistry is dangerous and often leads to short tem relationships. How do you know when it’s real? There is no magic formula, pill or drink that you can take or try to find the love of your life. But, one thing I did learn from the many dates I had before getting married, is honestly, openness and telling it straight is the only way to go. If he doesn’t like who you are, the way you look and tries to reinvent you and turn you into something you are not: Rid yourself of him and go no further.
The many stories in this book are filled with humor and real life incidents that will make you laugh, give you pause for thought and help you decide whether your path to romance will lead you there or astray.
Looking for that perfect someone! Working hard to find a husband. Consumed with this idea or thought day and night. Planning, plotting and creating your every move and scenes that would adhere to your master plan STOP RIGHT THERE! DON’T MAKE ANOTHER MOVE! You are definitely going about it all wrong. Living each day and spending your every waking hour trying to find that perfect someone will consume all of your time, leave little for fun and even more, detract from allowing you to do the things that make you happy, feel important and most essential- BE WHO YOU ARE! Self- Worth, Self-Esteem: Very Vital!
So, what do you to in order to find-not a husband but the Love you’re your life: Step One: read Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life by author Marina Sbrochi-read it more than once. List the areas that work for you and go from there.
Reading this book will not only enlighten the reader on the way to go about relationships and their ups and downs but will help those who are married and on shaky ground, firm it up. Real life stories- some good and some bad told to the reader directly by the author, helps you understand what she is trying to say and even more important, makes you feel she is speaking directly to you.
Where to begin: First of all figure out what is important to you in a man and write it down. Make a list of the attributes you want. Don’t dwell on the list. Know that is it there. But first, make a life for yourself and make yourself happy. If you in a job that is going nowhere and not really what you want to do or enjoy: Change it. Read how one woman did just that and find out the end result after reading pages 68-70.
One basic issue many women have difficulty coming to grips with is Trust. After being burned, lied to and deceived many times you being to doubt the words of the next person and the one after. It takes time to learn how to trust someone but do not think everyone is out to lie and trick you. Not an easy thing. Your boyfriend cheated on you. This does not mean the next guy will. Take our author’s advice and enjoy your relationship from the start but do not become so obsessed and distrustful that you drive by his house to see if he has company or who is there. Never think that every girl that comes in contact with your boyfriend or date is out to steal him. Certainly, do not demean yourself by leaving voicemails and text messages that are annoying or obnoxious. If trust is an issue- you suspect something- call a friend and discuss it. Write down the incident that happened: Honestly and truthfully and see what your real friend thinks. Read pages 76-77 to learn more.
One thing that I really hated when dating is if someone snooped around my apartment looking at my personal stuff or trying to find my personal address book. Trusting your date or company takes time. Finding a note on at table or reading your phone book or asking you who each person in your book is, definitely crosses the line. Don’t do it to him and he should not to you.
Another great point made at the start of this book is that Looks and Appearance do count. The first thing someone sees is you. Make it work. Look your best but dress as who you are not someone you are not.
There are many reasons why relationships do not work out. One serious thing and very important to consider is the way he speaks to you and his mother in private and in public. Jokes are funny but not if you are the brunt of them. Abuse of any kind is wrong and that is a definite: Out of my life right now deal breaker. Men like that often feed on their own egos and the vulnerability of others. Talking down to a woman makes him feel big: Never let that happen you are worth better and deserve it. Power Plays are wrong. Use your instinct and eliminate him from your life. Being alone is better than being someone’s punching bag.
The author gives the reader so much information and so many important suggestions that I will not divulge them all because you need to read this book for yourself. But, several important points were made and I would be remiss if I did not include them. First, keep certain things private about your life on the first date. Too much information can destroy a relationship before it even begins. It takes time and you do not need to relate every part of your life.
Everyone has secrets that they are not proud of. You do not need to unveil them all at once. If you have children or are divorced you might want to tell your date. That is not a secret that is just part of who you are and your life. Don’t envelope yourself in his life only; do not lose your identity or your friends.
Something my mom always taught me before going out: Hair and makeup are vital to your appearance as well as what you wear. Never pack on the makeup so thick you look like a mannequin nor wear clothes that are too tight and do not flatter your shape or you. Make sure your hair looks great.
Finally, overweight, out of shape- do not have the perfect body: Few people do! Exercise, look good and go to the gym: You never know who might be working out next to you. Sex, of course if important and having great chemistry with your partner vital to make it work. The author discusses the when, where and who of sex in chapter 15. Read It!
The appendix includes essential tips and answers to you unanswered questions and recaps much of what is said throughout the book. So if you need to learn how to approach a man: read the first part of the appendix. Handling the first date and few dates next and of course the dreaded break-ups. Don’t ever be crushed. Move On! Do not analyze every word or move he makes. Do not over think everything he says. Sometimes you need to take things at face value and go from there.
Told directly to the reader with many humorous stories the author relates how she met her husband. Talking to strangers is not something that I feel comfortable doing. Walking in the street and smiling at someone is will not always yield a smile in return but it cannot hurt to try. Tapping someone on the shoulder and asking him if he enjoyed the show. Well: you read it and decide for yourself. From approaching a man to online dating to just learning how to begin a relationship this book has it all.
Just think: The love of your life could be just around the corner, a smile away or even a tap on the shoulder. So, do not give up on yourself. Do not sell yourself short: read this outstanding book, smile, cry, laugh, understand the humor and most important: Never lose sight of YOU!
Fran Lewis: Reviewer